Big Beautiful Changes

So... I dyed my hair. This is what I now look like!

Quite a big change huh?  For those of you who don't know what I looked like before... here is a before and after shot.

 

























 I have been asked, probably a thousand times why I decided to do this to my hair.  Which honestly translates to me, "Man, you looked way better beforehand!"  To most, I respond with, "because I wanted to look hott!" or "I just needed a change!"

While neither of those reasons are wrong, there is a deeper reason that I changed my hair.  With so much going on in my life right now, my brother in law and sister going off into the MTC, and Zack graduating with his masters being right around the corner, I was just feeling left behind.  Zack graduating means that we are done with school.  Something that I have been waiting for since basically the day that we got married! Our whole marriage has been him going to school and me going to school and working.  We have never had a substantial income. We have had enough to get by (with loans for grad school), but not really much extra.  I guess I should be ecstatic that this time period is coming to an end, but really, I am scared to death!  I guess I thought by now that our lives would just look a little different.  I thought before that we would have a child before we graduated from SUU.  Now our time here at ND has come to an end, and yet, we leave here childless.  Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for what Zack and I have, and this wonderful time that we have had to spend together, getting to know each other and  falling more in love.  I know that if we would have had a child that ND wouldn't have been a viable option for us financially.  I love the life we have.  I just also know that there is a special kind of love that grows between a man and his wife when they raise their children.  I feel that what Zack and I have is something special.  Something so special, that bringing a child in to be a part of our family would only strengthen it.  I guess it all comes down to, I feel like I am spinning my wheels.  I feel like I am trying to move forward, but my forward progress isn't really in my control.  It seems like everyone that I know is either pregnant, graduating, finding awesome jobs, or heading off into the future in some other way.  And I'm over here like, oh hey! Can I watch your kids and pretend they're mine?  I mean most of the people that got married around when Zack and I did are on their second kid now.  And this whole feeling of not moving forward is just amplified by the fact that we aren't sure where we are going in May yet, and I, therefore, cannot start applying for jobs or looking for housing or deciding what my next move is.  Then I realized.  I am just letting the baby thing rule my whole life.  I AM moving forward. I graduated college in December for Heaven's sake!  The only area that I haven't progressed in is being a Mom, and that isn't really in my control.  SO... I sold my baby bassinet that I had been saving for our baby to sleep in, and I dyed my hair.  I love the blonde.  Yes, it is more damaged than it was, yes, I know that it took some getting used to, especially for Zack, yes, it probably was a little expensive, and yes, I love it anyway. 

This change in my hair signifies a change in my attitude.  Even though there is not a lot in my life that I can control right now, I could change my hair.   So, every time I look in the mirror,  I remember that I sold that baby bassinet that I loved, and by doing that, I took back a little bit of control.  I no longer have to walk by that beautiful piece of furniture and have it remind me of what I don't have yet.  Now I get to look in the mirror and remember that I am beautiful. And that makes me happy.

Quincy...

Well, my little sister is gone. She is in the MTC.  It was very hard saying goodbye to her, especially since I knew that she was still going to be in town, but that it would be the last time I saw her for over 18  months.  Quincy is my little peanut.  My little sweet and innocent, yet oddly inappropriate, and painfully shy little sister.  And now she is in the MTC.  I cannot believe the wonderful, beautiful, woman that she is grown into.  I hate that she is gone.  I mean, I am very proud of her for serving the Lord, don't get me wrong!  But it is much harder to send a girl off than a boy.  You expect the boys to go, and you can tell yourself, "If they weren't going, then I would be much more sad".  But in sending my little sister off, even though I know it is the right thing for her to do, and I know that she will make an amazing impact on the lives of many, for selfish reasons, I wish that she were staying home.  I would feel safer.

I know that it is silly, and I honestly do really support her in going and am so happy for her and all of the lessons that she will learn and how much growth she will get from this whole experience.  I love her, and I know this is the best thing for her. I just need to stop being selfish and wanting to keep her home with me.

Regardless, here is a picture of the sweet little sister that is mine.  I know that she is going to be a wonderful missionary and I cannot wait to see her again in 18 months.

Another thing that happened this past little bit is that Jaceman (my brother in law) left the MTC and is now in Paris!! I cannot wait to hear from him and hear all of his adventures in that beautiful place!

Til next time!

Dancin in the Dark

Ok, so for those of you who don't know, I am currently a nanny and a substitute teacher. I do not thoroughly enjoy substitute teaching.  I thought it would be more like teaching, but let me tell you... it is not.  Nothing like it. I would even say they are almost opposites.  Ok maybe not that bad, but I love teaching because I want to make the difference in lives of kids.  Substituting you are not making a difference, and kids do not like you.  And when kids do not like you, and you know that you are only in their lives for one day, it is so hard to be patient.  My first day I had a first grader throw a chair at me.  NOT my cup of tea.

Anyways, I was having one of my hard moments where I did not want to substitute teach, and was telling Zack how ready I am to not have to take jobs that I don't want anymore, and just complaining about how hard things feel for me.  I was really stressed out and in tears when he turned off the lights, grabbed his phone, put on some music, and danced with me.  At first I didn't want to, because I was sad and down, but he made me, and by the song I was giggling and laughing at his sweet dance moves.  By the third song, we were both injured because we tried to do some fancy dance moves that were a little out of our skill level. I really still have a bruised toe, nail broken in half, and bruised tail bone from falling right down so hard on my butt.  But then we ended the last song keeping it simple and just a little nice easy step.  I could not have been happier.  My husband makes me so happy.




I hope that if I ever have a daughter, or a few daughters, I can only hope and pray that there are little boys that will grow up to be their perfect match the way that Zack is mine.  I hope that somehow we can instill in them the importance of finding the person that is so special, and then teach them the hard work that is involved in making every relationship work.  Our relationship is absolutely not perfect.  We have a lot that we have to work on in order to keep our marriage at its strongest.  But thats the thing, we do the work.   We don't have it all figured out, but we are working at it.  I want to raise sons that will make the same sacrifices that Zack makes for me.  Sons that are worthy priesthood holders and effortlessly happy like their father is.  I just want a bunch of little Zacks running around, and then a little version that is a little like me, only less bossy.  Some day.  Some day all that will happen.  But for now, I am going to enjoy the time that I am able to spend dancing in the dark with my sweetheart.

Jace LEFT..! :(

Well, Jaceman officially left for his mission.  He is such an amazing example to us.  I am so happy to have such a wonderful and worthy brother in law.  He will do wonderful things in Paris, and the Lord is a lucky man to have Jace on his side.  I am pretty sure that Zack and I both have written him almost every day since he left, and we got our very own letter from him in the mail the other day!  It was so good to hear from him!!

When he got set apart we were able to Facetime with him and still be a part of the amazing experience.  I am thankful for modern technology that helped us be there for that day, and for parents and inlaws who value family so much that they flew us out to Utah to be at both of the farewells.  It was amazing to see our siblings so incredibly grown up and to see their light in the gospel.

We already miss you a ton, Jace!! We love you!! Have fun in the MTC!! 

Christmas Break 2012

I cannot believe that Christmas break is already over!!!  Well, to give you a little update on how our Christmas break went, here was our schedule.  We left Southbend on dec 15 and went to Detroit where we caught a plane to Vegas where we met my family who took us to Toquerville.  We were there for a few days, then we drove up to Cedar and then we were up to Kaysville, where we spent a few more days, and then we went back down to Cedar City for a few days, then back down to Toquerville, then back up to Kaysville, then back down to Toquerville, then Vegas, then Minneapolis, then Ft. Myer, then to Miami, then to Ft. Lauterdale, then back to Miami, then back to Ft. Lauterdale, then to Detroit, and FINALLY, back to South Bend.  So "whirlwind" might be an understatement.

As a said before, we started our trip in Toquerville with my family. I guess technically we flew into Vegas, which was so amazingly fun!  I could hardly contain my excitement as we were walking out to see my family for the first time in 7 whole months!  We were so excited to see that my om's big car was filled with all the family members that were not working.  I couldn't believe how much everyone was the same and yet at the same time.  It also made us feel so loved to have so many there to greet us and welcome us home.  We went and saw my grandparents, ate dinner with them and enjoyed some talking time, and then we headed back to Toquerville. There we enjoyed some really great relaxing time with my family accompanied with quite a bit of shopping.  We also built a family "Christmas tree" with our bodies.  We also spent a lot of time playing pranks on Grandee and really just enjoying the time we had together.  It was wonderful to go to church as a whole family again, and of course then to enjoy the temple for Quincy's first time.  It is so crazy that she is old enough to go through the temple and that shortly she will be heading off to Korea to serve the Lord and bring the gospel to the homes and hearts of many.

After being there for a few days, we were on our way up to Kaysville. But on our way through, we couldn't forget to stop in Cedar and say hello to the Benson family where we gave the kids their presents. Let me just tell you, giving presents to kids is just the best thing in the world.  They are so excitable and fun and their eyes just light up when they get new gifts.  We always enjoy our time with the Bensons.

Later that day we went up to Kaysville where we spent a wonderful evening with the Sexy Six friends to celebrate a birthday.  Hanging out with them was so much fun!  It is so crazy how we don't hang out more than maybe a couple of times a year, but every time we do, it is such a blast and we always miss them so much when we leave.

Once we FINALLY made it up to the Olsen house, it was so incredibly wonderful to finally see all of the in-laws.  We spent that first night just hanging out together, and then early the next morning we had the pleasure of going through the temple with Jace. Again, an absolutely beautiful experience, and it is SO crazy for me to believe that he is headed out to Paris in just over a month.  After the temple we went out to breakfast and then out to do family pictures with the whole extended Olsen family.  It was really nice to be able to go to Kaysville and get all the things for Zack done, like going to the doctors and dentist offices, but most importantly, spending time with family.  We had a wonderful time with the Olsens.  After Kaysville, we went back down and spent a day with the Bensons again!  All I can really say about being with the Bensons is that it is just like being with family.  We cannot express the gratitude we have towards them and their amazing family.

After the Besons, we returned back to Toquerville where we had yet, more fun times with the family going paint-balling and playing pickle ball and just enjoying our time together.  Then we were back up to Kaysville where we attended the wedding of one of Zack's closest high school buddies.  It was a wonderful time, and really great to go to the temple 3 times over our break.

The last leg of our trip was just back to Toquerville to stay over night and then head back to Vegas first thing in the morning to head out to Miami.  I will do that in a different post as this one is getting very long.

The very best part this break was to see family and get to spend good quality time with our siblings before they leave on their missions.  We are freaking out a little bit that we will only see them one more time before they leave, but we are so happy for their righteous choices and the great examples they are setting for the rest of us.  Here are some pictures,


To learn more about LDS missions and what the missionaries teach, feel free to visit www.mormon.org

 Til next time!

Miami Baby!!

Wahoo!! What a fun time we had in Miami!!  After going to Utah and bouncing back and forth between family, Zack and I were able to get a little get away, just the two of us.  We left Vegas on my birthday, and headed out for a 5 night stay in Miami to watch Notre Dame get our butts handed to us in the game.  While the game was a big fat bummer, if you look at the score, we had such a fun time!!  We met up with our amazing friends the Bensons, and we went out for an AMAZING dinner.  And guess what, I ate seafood! And even better... I liked it!!!  I had lobster Mac n cheese, an boy oh boy it was good!   Zack had a really yummy salmon!  I have had salmon before, but it was definitely not as good as it was at this awesome place.

We had so much fun checking out the stadium the day before the game, and getting a few little trinkets to bring home. We spent time on the beach, enjoying the amazing weather out there! And we even had an absolute blast scalping a ticket for me.  Zack did have to physically pull me away from some ghetto scam artist with no teeth who was a big jerk because I was letting him know how I felt about how dirty he was playing.  We also saw another fight break out over a guy selling counterfeit tickets.  So it was pretty fun!  In the end we found a very trustworthy businessman that sold us a ticket for a very reasonable price.  He even gave us quite a deal compared to other scalpers out there that day because we were students and his son is a student.  It was very nice, and we were lucky to get in there!!

We were sad to say goodbye to the Bensons for the trip, but it was nice to be able to spend our last couple nights just the two of us with no cares in the world!  We really just enjoyed the company and lounge around at the pool and the beach until we had to leave.

I am so lucky to be married to my husband.  I cannot express how wonderful he is to me and how strong he is for the both of us.  He is the best husband, and he will be the best father when the time comes for us to have children.  He cares for me and dotes over me and works hard and is family oriented and even can be a little spontaneous every once in a while. (don't tell him I told you!)

Well I hope you enjoy our pictures, til next time!!

A Thanksgiving to remember!

Well, now that it is a few months later, I guess I should write a little post about the wonderful Thanksgiving that we had here at ND.  Flights back home are CRAZY expensive, ao we could only afford to go back once this year, obviously we chose Christmas.  We were bummed about spending a fun holiday away from family, but it actually turned out to be a wonderful time!!

There were two guys from Zack's program who decided to put together a dinner and invite all of the "orphans" over.  We were the only ones who don't drink,  which I thought might be slightly awkward, but it wasn't at all!  Zack and I debated on bringing a non-alcoholic drink for us, but then we decided we would probably just drink water anyways, so we just took our dishes that we had signed up for.  When we got there, someone asked us if we wanted something to drink (meaning alcohol).  Of course we explained that we didn't drink, and that is when on of the hosts pulled out three bottles of Sparkling Apple Cider that he had bought just for us.  I honestly was so blown away by his thoughtfulness and willingness to go out of his way to make us feel welcomed.

The other pretty cool thing that happened was that before we ate, we were all sitting around the table when they saidm, hey, I guess someone should probably say grace before we eat.  Lets see... who is the most spiritual?  Well it was then decided that Zack should say the prayer, or "Grace" over the food.  I guess that I always thought that the way that we pray, as Latter-Day Saints, is the way that everyone else prays as well.  Well after the prayer, it was very cool to me to see how everyone went off about how beautiful of a prayer that was that he offered.  Most of them are used to recited prayers, so hearing someone pray for the specific situation that they were in was pretty cool to them.  After dinner, we went around and said all of the things that we were grateful for, and honestly it made me so grateful that we are out here and that we have the friends and connetions that we do.

Now, of course, our night ended with dinner and clean up while everyone else went out to bars and had what I am sure was a very fun night together.  However, the whole experience, even without going out afterwards was just a really amazing experience, and a holiday that I will forever hold dear in my heart.  Now I just wish that I would have taken some pictures.  Oh well, I will still hold those memories in my heart.

If you would like to learn more about my beliefs on prayer, or anything else to do with the Mormon faith, please visit www.mormon.org

Til next time!