Drum roll please...!

If you missed my last blog post, long story short, I took a pregnancy test.  Before wiping (TMI, sorry) I placed the cap on the test and turned it over to start the dreaded wait.  Typically about 3 minutes of excruciating, unbearable waiting.  I would know, I have made it through about 100 of those "waiting periods".  (I told you, I am a pregnancy hypochondriac.  I wasn't kidding.) Well this time was different.  This time, before I even set the test down, I saw a very dark, very clear plus sign.  Pregnant.  And I have an 8 month old baby.

Can we talk about a rush of emotions?!  I mean we are talking fear, excitement, panic, gratitude, the whole 9 yards!  Although I will admit that fear and panic were the two that really stand out to me as I remember back to those moments as I cleaned up and washed my hands. I mean within the last 8 months we bought a house and had a baby!  Life was already moving at lightening speed!  How can we be having ANOTHER baby?! But with tears in my eyes, feeling very scared, I looked down at my sweet little Rylie sitting right outside the bathroom door.  Her little wrists and ankles were twirling and she had a special sparkle in her eye with a little nervous giggle as if she was relieved that she didn't have to keep the secret anymore that she will be a big sister.

In that moment, I knew that all would be well.  I knew that this is exactly what was in Heavenly Father's plan for us, and that we could handle this.  I knew that even though there would be some really rough moments and sleepless nights to come, these are the trials that I prayed for for 5 years. This is exactly where I want to be.


TO MY FRIENDS WHO STRUGGLE WITH INFERTILITY:

I know that it is hard.  I am not telling you that as a person who has "overcome" infertility, or knows everything about it.  I don't really have any advice to make it easier or go by faster, it was the hardest thing that I have ever done and I cringe at the thought that there are people still feeling those feelings while I am happily "popping" my second baby out.  I just want you to know that I love you and that, if I know of your struggle, I pray for you by name.  But I also know that there are many friends who keep this struggle to themselves.  So if I do not know of your struggle, I still pray for you. I still want you to have babies. Healthy ones, and lots of them. Keep plugging away.  You can do this.  And while you wait for your sweet babies to get here, find something that makes you happy and cling to it. I wasn't too good at that, and I think it may have helped me.


Basic Info:
I was 9 weeks pregnant when I found out that I was expecting- which explains why my emotions were all over the place and I was feeling so overwhelmed and sick!  Yay!

I am now 13 weeks pregnant.  Through the first trimester and feeling much better!  The baby is due December 2, 2015.  If you are trying to do the math, I will make it easy on you.  16 months.  Rylie and the new baby will be 16 months apart.  Zack, Rylie, and I are all thrilled.  A bit overwhelmed, but thrilled nonetheless.


Summary:
Life flies by.  In the matter of 16 months Zack and I will have gone from being a married couple, renting a condo in Ohio, to being parents of 2 children who own a home in Michigan.  Seriously, we feel blessed in a big sort of way.   So thank you all for being a part of this wild ride that we call life.

Life... What a wild ride!!!

February/March:

Being a mom is my absolute favorite!  It has already made me a better wife.  Basically since coming back from Christmas break I finally feel like I am in normal life.  The last part of 2014 was a whirlwind!  Here is a brief summary of our schedule for August on.

August- Rylie.. she was born!  AMAZING!!  And we had family out here for much of the month helping us adjust to the sleepless nights.

September- Bo and Taylor got married!!  So wonderful!  This meant Rylie, Zack and I got to take our first plane ride together! 

October- MOVED!  We went from renting our little condo in Ohio to owning our home in Michigan!  What a wild ride that was!

November- Besides getting settled into our new lives as home owners and new parents both with new jobs,  and juggling our water softener and water heater breaking, we got to take our second trip to Utah as a new family and spend Thanksgiving with the Olsens!

December- Well Christmas duh!  We came home for about 3 weeks and then were off again to Utah! What a fun holiday1


Needless to say, it was crazy.  Finally when we got home from Christmas we were able to settle into our new lives.  And can I just tell you?  I LOVE IT!  I LOVE BEING A MOM AND A WIFE!  Sure, I am working part time still, but it is so wonderful to be able to have dinner made and a clean house and a sweet baby to go along with my absolutely "perfect for me" husband.  Seriously.  Life is so so so wonderful.  I cannot even get over how beautiful my life is. And I don't mean that in an obnoxious "my life is better than yours" way. I just mean that I am really happy.  I still have so much to learn, but I just feel like I am on top of things better than before she came.  I feel happy and capable.  I remember before I got pregnant with her I would often tell Zack that I felt like I was just spinning my wheels as hard as I could and not going anywhere.  I don't feel that way now.  I feel so happy.  Don't get me wrong, I get VERY tired. Like can't keep my eyes open tired.  And sometimes Rylie goes through hours of crying when I can't figure out what is wrong.  But even in those moments, when I want to cry, and I feel overwhelmed, I can't help but be grateful.  These are the trials I have always wanted.  These are the trials I can be grateful for even during them.

Bottom line- I love being a mom.

Late April:

I have not really been feeling myself recently.  I went home to spend a week with my family in Utah.  Ever since coming back from there I cannot figure out what my deal is.  Being a  wife and mother is my very favorite thing.  I cannot even express how much I love it.  But the last few weeks I feel overwhelmed.  It seems like it is one thing after another.  I cannot get over any illness quickly, I am having a hard time breastfeeding because my milk is disappearing, and I just feel like Rylie is super hard to handle right now.  Which is crazy. She is an amazing baby.  I know that it is me but I just can't seem to get the energy to get anything done anymore and I feel sick all the time.

Feeling so overwhelmed, I went to Zack to express to him my feelings.  I know that it took us so much time and work and money to get Rylie, but the thought of having another kid right now seemed SO overwhelming.  So I asked him if he felt okay about starting some birth control, even though I haven't had any sort of cycle yet since Rylie was born.  He talked me out of it for the time being, saying how much I would regret it if I went on BC and then we couldn't have another one for another 5+ years.  So I asked him for a blessing to help me feel better. 

I won't go into too much detail, but after the blessing I felt a quiet urge to take a pregnancy test.  I didn't tell Zack because I am a hypochondriac especially when it comes to pregnancy tests and I know he would talk me out of it because the likelihood is so small, and the tests are expensive.  So I took one.