Inspiration

Well, for those of you who don't know, millions of women struggle with infertility.  Some struggle with specific problems, some with unexplained issues, some with miscarriage, and some, for no reason at all it seems can't get pregnant.  I don't know which category I fall into to be honest.  Probably the miscarriage one mixed with unexplained.  Regardless, when you realize you have a hard time having a baby, people "come out" all around you telling you how either they or someone they know has struggled to build their family.  I think that aside from losing your husband, not being able to get pregnant is one of the hardest things a woman can go through, especially if you believe your role in this earthly life is to be a mother.  It causes depression and anxiety and so much hardship.  It can put strain on your marriage and you become sensitive to EVERYTHING around you.  Things that you shouldn't be sensitive about just are amplified and different comments that mean no harm whatsoever can be a knife through your heart.

And then, all of your friends and family are pregnant or have kids and its honestly hard to be around them without feeling sorry for yourself.  Or people tell you to "relax. its because you are so stressed that it won't happen for you". I think that is a pet peeve of anyone who struggles with infertility.  While there is definitely something to be said about not stressing and relaxing and putting your mind on other things, its pretty much impossible for those of us who want nothing more than to be a mother to just relax and forget about it. I wish I could tell people, don't tell me to relax! Tell me to keep plugging away! It will happen when it is supposed to.  Not that that is easy to hear either, because "when its supposed to" might be forever away, but we can't relax about this.  It is too painful, and there are reminders literally everywhere that you go.

Now, that being said, as women who struggle to start or grow our families, we often get WAY to bogged down talking about the pain.  So this post is for all of us.  I heard this love song. I'm sure most everyone has, but for some reason, to me, it felt like the situation that I'm in.  Every word of this song inspires me and is perfect for the infertility situation.  So I took the song and put some pictures to it in hopes to inspire.  I am a serious novice at all of this, but the movie is here with a little bit of inspiring notes afterwards.  If you hate it, so be it, but it inspires me, so I thought I'd share.

I hope that we can all realize that we need to keep fighting for our future children.  Every Day we need to fight. whether its eating healthier, gaining or losing weight, or just plain growing closer to our Heavenly Father, our children deserve our fight for them.  And through that fight, we need to remember all of the blessings that we have gained through these trials.  For me, I know that I have gained a greater love for my savior and especially a greater love for my husband.  I know that our relationship will withstand anything that is thrown at us, and that Zack is the single most important thing to me here on this earth.  I know that Marriage is Eternal and I know that I am loved.  Focus on those.

Til next time!